Critical Verbal and Nonverbal Cues for Success
The human brain was hardwired to decide whether or not we like another person within seven seconds as a prehistoric survival mechanism. That ´snap decision´ ability hasn´t changed in the last 50,000 years.
Self-preservation hardwiring is the reason for the great emphasis on first impressions in business and life. With face-to-face-time being the most valuable business situation, managing the seven-second response well is essential to your success.
Many of my clients (executives and business owners) use more remote communications now. Video conferencing and webinars are a cost-effective way to take projects to the next step and/or foster the personal connection among virtual teams with online face-to-face meetings.
Our hardwiring does not change even if it is telecom media sending the sense impressions to us! These techniques for making a better impression will work for you in person or virtually.
OK or Not OK
Everyone you meet immediately labels you "OK" or "Not OK". Likewise, you label everyone with your judgment. In business, "OK" does not guarantee that you will get the sale, but it does mean that the person has decided whether or not they are willing to do business with you. Communication by both people from then on is filtered through the initial "like" or dislike" decision.
No one can change this seven-second hardwiring, but you can learn how to make snap decisions work for you. You can learn more about your unique brain style at www.ABrainNewWaytoWork.com/assessments.html It is critical to understand that first impressions are four times more influenced by the six nonverbal cues than by verbal cues.
Six keys to create a positive non-verbal first impression:
1) Smile: Research shows that feelings and facial expressions influence each other. That is, not only will a sad person naturally appear sad, but a person who intentionally smiles will feel more content than a person who doesn't. Do you enjoy a smiler or a sadsack more? So does everyone else!
2) Raise your eyebrows: Open your eyes slightly more than usual to send the "eyebrow flash" that is the universal recognition and acknowledgement expression.
3) Attitude Adjustment: Before you greet someone, think about the results you want from the situation and make a conscious choice about the attitude you want to embrace and reflect to others. Deliberately decide to be friendly, happy, receptive, patient, approachable, welcoming, and helpful.
4) Make eye contact: In western cultures, looking at someone's eyes communicates interest and openness. Improve your eye contact by making a habit of noticing the eye color of each person you meet.
5) Shake hands: Research shows it averages three hours of continual interaction to develop the same level of rapport of just one handshake. Be sure your palms contact and that the webs of both hands are touching.
6) Lean in slightly: Leaning forward shows your engagement and interest. In most U.S. business situations, an individual´s personal comfort zone is about two feet away. Be respectful of the other person's space.
Listen attentively: Most people think good listeners are the most likable types of people, because they are basically ´hearing´ themselves. Carol Kinsey Goman explains, "Good listening skills allow you to ask sensible questions and gather valuable information to help you sell what they really need."
Optimizing Your Verbal Delivery
What is the one word or sound that no one ever gets tired of seeing or hearing? It is their name! Once you begin the actual conversation, you must:
Use the person´s name within the first minute: When you meet someone, ask and remember their name, and repeat their name soon during the conversation.
A monotonous speaking voice lulls the listener into boredom or puts them to sleep, regardless of the power of the content. While learning how to enhance the spoken delivery of your message, concentrate on these three aspects:
1) Pacing: Varying the speed at which you speak helps our brains to keep listening. If all your sentences are delivered at exactly the same pace, how can someone tell what part of your content is most important?
2) Volume: Use volume to emphasize the single most important word in a sentence. For example, "Where´s the beef?" was a wildly successful ad slogan. Tweaking the volume on the most important phrase within a spoken paragraph tells your respondent that you are more excited and they should be too!
3) Pauses: Nothing is as dramatic as a well-placed pause, and our brains know it. Pausing at key moments creates memory impact, by giving the listener time to register the prior thought and clear the mental space to remember the thought following the pause.
The more you optimize your presentation of self, the easier it is for people to receive your message. Getting your message across internally to colleagues or externally to customers is directly correlated with your success. Practice these essential techniques to power up your first seven-second impression—face to face or virtually.
Excerpts from the new book, "A Brain New Way to Work" tm Copyright 2008 Eve Abbott All Rights Reserved
The human brain was hardwired to decide whether or not we like another person within seven seconds as a prehistoric survival mechanism. That ´snap decision´ ability hasn´t changed in the last 50,000 years.
Self-preservation hardwiring is the reason for the great emphasis on first impressions in business and life. With face-to-face-time being the most valuable business situation, managing the seven-second response well is essential to your success.
Many of my clients (executives and business owners) use more remote communications now. Video conferencing and webinars are a cost-effective way to take projects to the next step and/or foster the personal connection among virtual teams with online face-to-face meetings.
Our hardwiring does not change even if it is telecom media sending the sense impressions to us! These techniques for making a better impression will work for you in person or virtually.
OK or Not OK
Everyone you meet immediately labels you "OK" or "Not OK". Likewise, you label everyone with your judgment. In business, "OK" does not guarantee that you will get the sale, but it does mean that the person has decided whether or not they are willing to do business with you. Communication by both people from then on is filtered through the initial "like" or dislike" decision.
No one can change this seven-second hardwiring, but you can learn how to make snap decisions work for you. You can learn more about your unique brain style at www.ABrainNewWaytoWork.com/assessments.html It is critical to understand that first impressions are four times more influenced by the six nonverbal cues than by verbal cues.
Six keys to create a positive non-verbal first impression:
1) Smile: Research shows that feelings and facial expressions influence each other. That is, not only will a sad person naturally appear sad, but a person who intentionally smiles will feel more content than a person who doesn't. Do you enjoy a smiler or a sadsack more? So does everyone else!
2) Raise your eyebrows: Open your eyes slightly more than usual to send the "eyebrow flash" that is the universal recognition and acknowledgement expression.
3) Attitude Adjustment: Before you greet someone, think about the results you want from the situation and make a conscious choice about the attitude you want to embrace and reflect to others. Deliberately decide to be friendly, happy, receptive, patient, approachable, welcoming, and helpful.
4) Make eye contact: In western cultures, looking at someone's eyes communicates interest and openness. Improve your eye contact by making a habit of noticing the eye color of each person you meet.
5) Shake hands: Research shows it averages three hours of continual interaction to develop the same level of rapport of just one handshake. Be sure your palms contact and that the webs of both hands are touching.
6) Lean in slightly: Leaning forward shows your engagement and interest. In most U.S. business situations, an individual´s personal comfort zone is about two feet away. Be respectful of the other person's space.
Listen attentively: Most people think good listeners are the most likable types of people, because they are basically ´hearing´ themselves. Carol Kinsey Goman explains, "Good listening skills allow you to ask sensible questions and gather valuable information to help you sell what they really need."
Optimizing Your Verbal Delivery
What is the one word or sound that no one ever gets tired of seeing or hearing? It is their name! Once you begin the actual conversation, you must:
Use the person´s name within the first minute: When you meet someone, ask and remember their name, and repeat their name soon during the conversation.
A monotonous speaking voice lulls the listener into boredom or puts them to sleep, regardless of the power of the content. While learning how to enhance the spoken delivery of your message, concentrate on these three aspects:
1) Pacing: Varying the speed at which you speak helps our brains to keep listening. If all your sentences are delivered at exactly the same pace, how can someone tell what part of your content is most important?
2) Volume: Use volume to emphasize the single most important word in a sentence. For example, "Where´s the beef?" was a wildly successful ad slogan. Tweaking the volume on the most important phrase within a spoken paragraph tells your respondent that you are more excited and they should be too!
3) Pauses: Nothing is as dramatic as a well-placed pause, and our brains know it. Pausing at key moments creates memory impact, by giving the listener time to register the prior thought and clear the mental space to remember the thought following the pause.
The more you optimize your presentation of self, the easier it is for people to receive your message. Getting your message across internally to colleagues or externally to customers is directly correlated with your success. Practice these essential techniques to power up your first seven-second impression—face to face or virtually.
Excerpts from the new book, "A Brain New Way to Work" tm Copyright 2008 Eve Abbott All Rights Reserved
