7 Things Men Don´t Really Want to Know About You
Wendy Lapidus-Saltz
July 21, 2009
Truth: if you are a woman, there are probably more than seven things men would really rather not know about you. As a love and attraction coach, I hear about the following topics most often.
Must you remain absolutely mum on them forever?
Nope.
But at the beginning of a relationship, when the guy is still in the moony, idealistic, romantic phase, he probably prefers to be shielded from this knowledge.
It is part of that TMI thing they talked about several decades ago.
TMI means "too much information" as in "Please don´t tell me anything I would feel uncomfortable hearing."
The phrase is no longer cool, the topics change, but the attitude remains among men who prefer not to be bored, grossed out, irritated, made to feel stupid, jealous, or inept in any way. Especially at the start of a love affair.
What Is "TMI" for Him:
1. How many men you´ve been romanced by—with all the gory details (and even without the gory details), especially early in the relationship
2. Which of his friends or colleagues you could imagine getting cozy with
3. Ditto for your friends. (If they´re women, he might be titillated rather than jealous. But not always.)
4. Details of any of your surgeries, especially gory ones, cosmetic surgeries he doesn´t know about, or anything involving female parts, real or fake
5. How you really feel about baldies—if he´s bald and the news isn´t good. Even if the news IS good, he may not believe you
What if he´s not bald?
Check his father and uncles on both sides of the family. If they show any evidence of thinning hair, remain mum. If not, you can chance it.
But, really, why would you?
6. How he measures up against ex-boyfriends, in just about anything, especially THAT thing.
7. Any information about your weight or diet regimen. Especially if it takes more than five minutes, involves specifics, whining, apologizing, self-effacing, guilt-mongering, bragging, or the suggestion that he do the same.
If these are the only topics you do extraordinarily well, please add to your repertoire.
Try these:
1. How well he does X.
2. How effortlessly he does X.
3. How much better he does X than his brother or best friend.
X should be about something like barbecuing, golfing, discussing intelligent topics, fixing something around the house, professional talents, playing a demanding board game, or an athletic feat.
Not so useful if X is a sexual position, licking his own elbow, or a competition for something disgusting.
4. Why the way he Xes is so cool, interesting or unique.
5. How much you wish you could X like him. Of course, this works for some
activities and not others.
And if you express this sentiment, he might graciously offer to teach you how to improve the way you do X.
Be certain you want to learn. Even if it involves hours of practice. And correction.
Can you handle it? Will you enjoy it? Will it bring you closer? Or will you lose the relationship you had hoped to nurture? If so, choose a better topic. ©2009 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz. All rights reserved.
Must you remain absolutely mum on them forever?
Nope.
But at the beginning of a relationship, when the guy is still in the moony, idealistic, romantic phase, he probably prefers to be shielded from this knowledge.
It is part of that TMI thing they talked about several decades ago.
TMI means "too much information" as in "Please don´t tell me anything I would feel uncomfortable hearing."
The phrase is no longer cool, the topics change, but the attitude remains among men who prefer not to be bored, grossed out, irritated, made to feel stupid, jealous, or inept in any way. Especially at the start of a love affair.
What Is "TMI" for Him:
1. How many men you´ve been romanced by—with all the gory details (and even without the gory details), especially early in the relationship
2. Which of his friends or colleagues you could imagine getting cozy with
3. Ditto for your friends. (If they´re women, he might be titillated rather than jealous. But not always.)
4. Details of any of your surgeries, especially gory ones, cosmetic surgeries he doesn´t know about, or anything involving female parts, real or fake
5. How you really feel about baldies—if he´s bald and the news isn´t good. Even if the news IS good, he may not believe you
What if he´s not bald?
Check his father and uncles on both sides of the family. If they show any evidence of thinning hair, remain mum. If not, you can chance it.
But, really, why would you?
6. How he measures up against ex-boyfriends, in just about anything, especially THAT thing.
7. Any information about your weight or diet regimen. Especially if it takes more than five minutes, involves specifics, whining, apologizing, self-effacing, guilt-mongering, bragging, or the suggestion that he do the same.
If these are the only topics you do extraordinarily well, please add to your repertoire.
Try these:
1. How well he does X.
2. How effortlessly he does X.
3. How much better he does X than his brother or best friend.
X should be about something like barbecuing, golfing, discussing intelligent topics, fixing something around the house, professional talents, playing a demanding board game, or an athletic feat.
Not so useful if X is a sexual position, licking his own elbow, or a competition for something disgusting.
4. Why the way he Xes is so cool, interesting or unique.
5. How much you wish you could X like him. Of course, this works for some
activities and not others.
And if you express this sentiment, he might graciously offer to teach you how to improve the way you do X.
Be certain you want to learn. Even if it involves hours of practice. And correction.
Can you handle it? Will you enjoy it? Will it bring you closer? Or will you lose the relationship you had hoped to nurture? If so, choose a better topic. ©2009 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz. All rights reserved.
Print
Email
