IMAGINE........ SARAH PALIN OR DICK CHENEY DOING STAND UP COMEDY!

Many of the GOP´s members are becoming real jokes, but many of them do have the material needed for stand-up comedy in Vegas.

…Governor Palin, earning more of Keith Olbermann´s money for Alaska Special Olympics

You know, with all the lies that continue to emanate from the mouths of the GOP politicians, many of them are now starting to show some classic signs of possibly becoming accomplished stand-up comedians.

Here are some of the latest examples to support that possibility:

>>> It was on one of the evening news programs such as The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, or perhaps later on David Letterman where it was announced that for next year´s 70th birthday of the cartoon character Bugs Bunny, a new Bugs movie was already in process. But this time, they will be using some human actors for a few of the movie´s characters. Obviously, the former Vice President Dick Cheney was immediately signed and cast to play Bug´s nemesis, the shotgun toting, stuttering curmudgeon; "Elmer Fudd".

>>> In another case, the conservative New York Times columnist and FOX News analyst; Bill Krystal, had them howling in laughter on The Daily Show when he stated that the US government could never run any public operation correctly or efficiently. But he immediately then stated that the US Veterans Administration (a goverment run organization) currently provides the US military vets with "the best health care that money can buy". Then Mr. Krystal proceeded to stick "foot-in-mouth" again by saying that for the average American citizen, they did "not deserve as good of a quality health care program as the American vets". The TV crowd was rolling in the aisles.

>>> But the real winner as a potential, future stand-up comedian is the now "former" governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin.

Now that Sarah has been turned loose on the lower 48 states, we will probably be seeing and hearing much more of her than anyone should ever want to see or hear. (Unless you were a real bad girl or boy and were being severely punished.)

It is now obvious that Ms. Palin was developing some of her own stand-up material way back during the 2008 election campaign. However, in her recent resignation speech and her subsequent farewell address, one could see she was adding new material to some of her past stand-up comedy development efforts.

For instance………

>>> During Sarah´s recent resignation speech, who else would have the gall to so adamantly declare that she; "Was not a quitter!", at the same time she was delivering her own governor´s resignation "quitting" speech…?

>>> Or how about her comment that: "Now that I´m no longer the governor of Alaska, I can now fight even harder for the state that I dearly love. Oh, and that´s why I´ll be moving south and spending most of my future days giving speeches in the lower 48 states while making some very big money."

>>> And then there´s Sarah´s farewell speech where she states that the lieutenant governor of Alaska that is taking her place has a very beautiful family, but the media must "stay away from bothering this new Alaska governor´s children". She then emphasized to the press that "those kids are totally off limits to you, the media". She then proceeded to say goodbye to everyone in the audience as she also listed all of her own children, by their individual names, to the attending press and TV media cameras, "as they were all standing next to her on the stage"……(I guess her children were NOT in the "off limits" zone.)

BUT IT´S ALL VERY CONFUSING:

What has really stumped me, is even though her local and national popularity has been waning somewhat, Ms. Palin is still able to draw some very big crowds. This continues to occur even though she proved to be a walking "lying machine" throughout last year´s presidential campaign….?

Even MSNBC´s Keith Olbermann paid out $100 for "every lie she told on camera while on the campaign trail". He eventually had to write a check, on the air, for $3,700. made out to the Alaska Special Olympics, for the 37 lies that were identified in her key speeches made during the election campaign.

Here are some of those "fibs" that I was able to uncover from the 2008 campaign that she can now also use for future "stand-up" comedy material:

>>> Governor Palin was originally a big supporter of Alaska´s so called; "Bridge-to-No Where". When it later became an embarrassment and an unpopular item, she began repeating in her stump speeches that she had said "thanks but no thanks" for supporting the bridge. She kept saying "thanks but no thanks" in speech after speech, even though it had been made very clear in the media that she had been a key bridge supporter…?

>>> Sarah Palin stated multiple times in her speeches that she had taken a pay-cut as governor. In reality, her annual pay actually increased.

>>> Ms. Palin said in many speeches that as Alaska´s governor, she oversaw the supply of; "20% of America´s domestic supply of energy from Alaska". However, she knew, and later admitted, that it was more like; "13% of the US domestic energy supply".

>>> The governor claimed many times that she had fought against useless "pork and government earmarks". In reality, Alaska has been one of the largest recipients (per US citizen) of earmark revenues. As an example, Alaska received $2 million just for studying how Alaskan crabs have sex.

>>> Governor Palin made a big deal about the special needs of her youngest son born with Down Syndrome and that she was a big supporter of Alaska´s "special needs children." Unfortunately, Governor Palin failed to disclose that she had actually cut the state´s budget for Alaska´s "special needs children".

>>> During the campaign, the governor said in her speeches that she had visited the US troops in Iraq. She never visited Iraq or any other Middle Eastern country.

>>> Then there was the big story where the governor implied that she had saved the state money by selling the Alaska state corporate jet on "e-Bay". Yes, she did list the plane for a short time on e-Bay, but it did not sell. It was only later that she admitted that the jet was eventually sold through a private broker and the state had to pay a very large sales commission.

>>> Governor Palin was filmed saying that she had "no opinion" as to whether homosexuality was a "choice" issue or a human "genetic" issue. However, the local church where she attended regularly every Sunday had a banner that promoted the idea that one could actually "Pray the Gays Away".

>>> As a devout religious individual, Governor Palin can be seen today in a YouTube video showing Sarah being blessed in her hometown Wasilla church by a Kenyan pastor who specializes in praying for protection from "Witchcraft". This was being performed as Sarah was preparing to seek higher Alaska public office.

>>> Ms. Palin´s husband, Todd Palin's name has appeared in multiple news reports regarding his involvement in the firing of the Alaska Safety Commissioner; Walt Monegan and the subsequent actions of an Alaska State Trooper, Mike Wooten. (Wooten was previously married to Sarah Palin´s sister and was involved in a very messy divorce. This became known in the media as "Troopergate".) Evidence has shown that Todd Palin may have used the governor´s office phones and computers in trying to lobby for having Wooten fired. The former Commissioner today says that Governor Palin requested that he fire the State Trooper Wooten, and that´s why the safety commissioner of 20+ years was eventually let go by the governor.

>>> In an interview with ABC´s Charlie Gibson, Ms. Palin had said that she had hesitated to say "yes" when she was first asked to run for Vice President by Senator John McCain. In a later interview with FOX´s Sean Hannity, she said there was no hesitation when she was asked. (So which was it?)

>>> In another part of the interview with Charlie Gibson, the governor had to admit that she did not know what was meant by the "Bush Doctrine". This, was and is known by virtually everyone in politics as Bush´s attitude of supporting "preemptive war such as when the US invaded Iraq". Governor Palin had no clue as to what the "Bush Doctrine" was, in fact, she appeared to have never heard of the term.

>>> In an earlier, minor fib, the governor said she had fired the governor´s Chef in order to save Alaska money and so that she could cook for her family. In fact, she did not fire the Chef that worked in the Alaska Governor´s Mansion.

After Keith Olbermann wrote his "Palin Lies Check", on the air, for Alaska´s Special Olympics, he also then said that he would be auctioning off a bunch of "fictitious cans" of "Aunt Sarah´s Moose Chunks Stew". He wanted everyone watching to know that they should buy; "all of the fictitious Aunt Sarah´s Moose Chunks Stew that they wanted, because just as with Sarah´s lies, she´ll make more!"

Yes, if you live in the lower 48, you´d better get ready to see and hear more of, and about, the former Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin in the future.

And she definitely now has enough of the necessary material for giving "stand-up comedy" a try.

Copyright G.Ater 2009

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