The Christie Brinkley Divorce Trial Viewed Through an Infidelity Expert´s Eyes
Ruth Houston
July 10, 2008
As an infidelity expert, I´m often called on by the media to comment on celebrity infidelity, high profile infidelity court cases and popular infidelity issues in the news. So I´ve been closely following the divorce trial of Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook.
I´ve made a number of interesting observations about this case:
The Misleading Issue of the Open Trial
I can´t help noticing that most of the discussions on the issue of an open trial omit or gloss over the fact that open divorce trials are the norm. Apparently, a closed court is the exception, rather than the rule. Yet Cook fought hard to have the proceedings closed. Divorce court is PUBLIC. Christieand her lawyer Robert S. Cohen requested to KEEP ( not MAKE) the divorce proceedings public so the truth could be revealed. KEEP is the operative word. Even though Cook was against it, Christie is legally entitled to present the facts behind her divorce.
Cook and his attorney have tried their darndest to put a negative spin on the fact that Christie wanted the divorce trial to REMAIN public so the truth could come out. In doing so they´ve successfully diverted attention away from the real reason Cook fought hard to have the divorce trial closed. He has loads of dirty laundry he was hoping to keep hidden from public view. Christie has nothing to hide.
Concern for the Children
In order to convince the judge to deny Christie an open trial, Cook and his lawyer tried to play the "concern-for-the-children" card. Where was Cook´s concern for the children while he was cheating on his wife? Personally, I didn´t buy their It-Will-Harm-the-Children story, and neither did the judge. State Supreme Court Justice Mark D. Cohen concluded that the evidence presented failed to support their claim that a public trial would harm the children, and ruled that the trial would REMAIN open.
What´s harmful to the children is the behavior of their father which necessitated their mother having to file for a divorce.
If Cook was really that concerned about the harm a public trial might have on his children, he could easily have settled out of court, thereby avoiding an open trial. Cook´s legal shenanigans were all about trying to protect himself from negative publicity once the truth about him came out.
Cook´s Merits as a Father
As for Cook and his lawyer being able to produce cards, letters, and interviews from Christie herself saying that Cook was a good father, that was then -- and this is now. No doubt they can also produce documentation from Christie saying that he was a good husband – once upon a time -- before she found out about his affair. What may have been true then, isn´t necessarily true now.
But I do think you have to question the merits of a father who leaves porn on his computer that his son stumbled across it while doing a school report.
Cheater´s Remorse
You´ve heard of "buyer´s remorse" where a person feels remorse or regret after a making a costly purchase, suddenly realizing they might have made a mistake.
Well Peter Cook is suffering from what I call "cheater´s remorse." He realizes now, that by cheating on Christie, he made a grave mistake. His infidelity has cost him his marriage, his reputation in the community and the lavish lifestyle provided by his wife. And now his dirty laundry is being aired for all the world to see.
Cook´s behavior – his tears and apologies -- are consistent with cheating men who get caught and have to suffer the consequences of their affairs.
Contrary to popular opinion, most cheating men don´t have affairs because they´re unhappy with their mates. Recent studies cited this in the Journal of Marriage and Family, Family Process and the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy bear that out. Six of the top 10 reasons men have extramarital affairs, are related NOT to unhappiness but to SEX.
The Trivialization of Infidelity
I´m appalled at the way Cook´s lawyer tries to trivialize his client´s infidelity.
He brushes it aside like some annoying insect buzzing around his head by saying he doesn´t see why Cook´s infidelity should be an issue since his client has already conceded that point.
That´s part of the reason infidelity is so rampant right now. It´s been trivialized to the point where cheaters and potential cheaters think it´s ok. Infidelity is now so widespread that many cheaters are truly puzzled when it turns out to be a deal-breaker for them. They seem to think that like cheating politician´s wives, all women should stand by their man.
What we´re talking about here is not a one night stand, or an isolated act of infidelity done in the heat of passion, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. These were multiple premeditated acts of infidelity planned and executed by Peter Cook over an extended period of time.
Criticism of Christie for Wanting Her Day in Court
Why is Christie being condemned for airing her cheating husband´s dirty laundry in court and leaving him twisting n the wind? Christie is legally entitled to present the facts surrounding her divorce. I find it ironic that the same people who criticized Silda Spitzer, Hillary Clinton, Carlita Kilpatrick and other cheating politician´s wives for standing by their man, are condemning Christie for wanting to have her day in court.
Let´s not lose sight of the fact that Cook brought all this on himself. Christie expressed her willingness to settle the matter "privately, outside the courtroom" Cook chose to go ahead and battle it out in an open court. If he´s embarrassed in the process, then he has only himself to blame.
After taking the stand, Cook's lawyer said. Your honor, we're here because of the self-indulgent wrath of a woman scorned." Excuse me, Mr. Sheresky – but the real reason you´re there is because your client violated his marriage vows by cheating on his wife.
Is Christie Out for Revenge?
Cook and his attorney keep harping that Christie´ wants to get revenge. It´s perfectly normal for an infidelity victim to want to seek revenge on his or her cheating spouse. When the initial shock and disbelief of the infidelity wear off, the hurt and anger that follow, are accompanied by the urge to get revenge. Some act on this urge; some don´t. But it´s normal for someone who´s been cheated on to feel this way
If Christie´s out to get revenge, she won´t be the first betrayed wife to do so -– and she certainly won´t be the last.
Asa wife, Christie was no doubt privy to some of Peter Cook's deepest, darkest secrets. Now she´s in a unique position to get revenge by exposing his secrets to the world. Cook humiliated Christie by cheating on her with a teenager less than half his age, but she´s not allowed to humiliate him? At least Christie has found a legal way to get revenge. Some infidelity victims do violent, destructive, or illegal things to get back at a cheating mate.
Christie is Still Angry
Does it surprise anyone that Christie Brinkley is angry with Peter Cook? What wife wouldn´t feel angry and vindictive towards a husband who lured a teenager away from her job as a toy store clerk, hired her to be his office assistant, seduced her into having a long-term affair with him, then paid her $300,000 to keep quiet after the affair was exposed? Add to that an Internet porn habit exceeding $3000 a month.
Cook's attorney says he has a psychiatrist's report that 2 years later Christie is still "consumed by rage". Just like a smile and a handshake don´t always seal a deal, tears and apologies don´t erase the hurt, humiliation and heartbreak of being betrayed by someone you love.
Most marriage and family counselors agree that it takes at least 2 years for an infidelity victim to work through the emotions associated with infidelity, and fully recover from the trauma of the affair. This holds true whether the person remains with the cheater, or leaves and files for divorce. The longer the duration of the relationship, or the closer the bond between the couple, the longer the recovery time. For Christie to still be angry two years later is not that unusual. Talking openly about the situation -- whether in court, to a therapist, or with trusted friends -- will help dissipate any residual anger Christie may feel.
Infidelity Lessons to Be Learned
In his ruling to keep the trial open to the public, Supreme Court Justice Mark Cohen noted that "open courtrooms, in general and in divorce actions, may provide a basis for societal education. Obviously he there are lessons to be learned. Here´s my take on what those lessons might be
For Betrayed Wives:
Ignore public opinion. Have the good sense to get out of a bad marriage, if it´s in the best interests of you and your children to do so. Stand up for yourself and for your family.
For Cheating husbands:
When it comes to infidelity and extramarital affairs, remember "You have to pay to play." That payment isn´t always calculated in dollars and cents. Think about what you have to lose.
FREE Tip Sheet on Ways to Legally and Financially Get Revenge
If you absolutely must get revenge on your cheating mate, there are ways to do it without running afoul of the law. For a free tip sheet on How to Legally or Financially Get Revenge on a Cheating Spouse, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with "revenge tip sheet - ac" in the subject line.
About Ruth Houston:
Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, which lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs women usually overlook.
Frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news, Ruth has been quoted in USA Today, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Daily News, Cosmopolitan, the New York Post, the Chicago Tribune, the Houston Chronicle, the Toronto Sun, Maclean's, iVillage, MSN Lifestyle, FoxNews.com, ABCNews.com, msnbc.com, Reuters, AP, UPI, Hollywood Heat, Entertainment Online and numerous other print and online media.
Ruth has been a guest on The Today Show, CNN, Fox & Friends, Court TV Radio, The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, NBC News, BBC, CBC, WCBS, ABC News, Fox News, 1010WINS and over 440 other radio and TV talk shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, South America, Australia, New Zealand and the Caribbean.
To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston about infidelity, cheating spouses, and extramarital affairs call 718 592-6039 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com
I´ve made a number of interesting observations about this case:
The Misleading Issue of the Open Trial
I can´t help noticing that most of the discussions on the issue of an open trial omit or gloss over the fact that open divorce trials are the norm. Apparently, a closed court is the exception, rather than the rule. Yet Cook fought hard to have the proceedings closed. Divorce court is PUBLIC. Christieand her lawyer Robert S. Cohen requested to KEEP ( not MAKE) the divorce proceedings public so the truth could be revealed. KEEP is the operative word. Even though Cook was against it, Christie is legally entitled to present the facts behind her divorce.
Cook and his attorney have tried their darndest to put a negative spin on the fact that Christie wanted the divorce trial to REMAIN public so the truth could come out. In doing so they´ve successfully diverted attention away from the real reason Cook fought hard to have the divorce trial closed. He has loads of dirty laundry he was hoping to keep hidden from public view. Christie has nothing to hide.
Concern for the Children
In order to convince the judge to deny Christie an open trial, Cook and his lawyer tried to play the "concern-for-the-children" card. Where was Cook´s concern for the children while he was cheating on his wife? Personally, I didn´t buy their It-Will-Harm-the-Children story, and neither did the judge. State Supreme Court Justice Mark D. Cohen concluded that the evidence presented failed to support their claim that a public trial would harm the children, and ruled that the trial would REMAIN open.
What´s harmful to the children is the behavior of their father which necessitated their mother having to file for a divorce.
If Cook was really that concerned about the harm a public trial might have on his children, he could easily have settled out of court, thereby avoiding an open trial. Cook´s legal shenanigans were all about trying to protect himself from negative publicity once the truth about him came out.
Cook´s Merits as a Father
As for Cook and his lawyer being able to produce cards, letters, and interviews from Christie herself saying that Cook was a good father, that was then -- and this is now. No doubt they can also produce documentation from Christie saying that he was a good husband – once upon a time -- before she found out about his affair. What may have been true then, isn´t necessarily true now.
But I do think you have to question the merits of a father who leaves porn on his computer that his son stumbled across it while doing a school report.
Cheater´s Remorse
You´ve heard of "buyer´s remorse" where a person feels remorse or regret after a making a costly purchase, suddenly realizing they might have made a mistake.
Well Peter Cook is suffering from what I call "cheater´s remorse." He realizes now, that by cheating on Christie, he made a grave mistake. His infidelity has cost him his marriage, his reputation in the community and the lavish lifestyle provided by his wife. And now his dirty laundry is being aired for all the world to see.
Cook´s behavior – his tears and apologies -- are consistent with cheating men who get caught and have to suffer the consequences of their affairs.
Contrary to popular opinion, most cheating men don´t have affairs because they´re unhappy with their mates. Recent studies cited this in the Journal of Marriage and Family, Family Process and the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy bear that out. Six of the top 10 reasons men have extramarital affairs, are related NOT to unhappiness but to SEX.
The Trivialization of Infidelity
I´m appalled at the way Cook´s lawyer tries to trivialize his client´s infidelity.
He brushes it aside like some annoying insect buzzing around his head by saying he doesn´t see why Cook´s infidelity should be an issue since his client has already conceded that point.
That´s part of the reason infidelity is so rampant right now. It´s been trivialized to the point where cheaters and potential cheaters think it´s ok. Infidelity is now so widespread that many cheaters are truly puzzled when it turns out to be a deal-breaker for them. They seem to think that like cheating politician´s wives, all women should stand by their man.
What we´re talking about here is not a one night stand, or an isolated act of infidelity done in the heat of passion, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. These were multiple premeditated acts of infidelity planned and executed by Peter Cook over an extended period of time.
Criticism of Christie for Wanting Her Day in Court
Why is Christie being condemned for airing her cheating husband´s dirty laundry in court and leaving him twisting n the wind? Christie is legally entitled to present the facts surrounding her divorce. I find it ironic that the same people who criticized Silda Spitzer, Hillary Clinton, Carlita Kilpatrick and other cheating politician´s wives for standing by their man, are condemning Christie for wanting to have her day in court.
Let´s not lose sight of the fact that Cook brought all this on himself. Christie expressed her willingness to settle the matter "privately, outside the courtroom" Cook chose to go ahead and battle it out in an open court. If he´s embarrassed in the process, then he has only himself to blame.
After taking the stand, Cook's lawyer said. Your honor, we're here because of the self-indulgent wrath of a woman scorned." Excuse me, Mr. Sheresky – but the real reason you´re there is because your client violated his marriage vows by cheating on his wife.
Is Christie Out for Revenge?
Cook and his attorney keep harping that Christie´ wants to get revenge. It´s perfectly normal for an infidelity victim to want to seek revenge on his or her cheating spouse. When the initial shock and disbelief of the infidelity wear off, the hurt and anger that follow, are accompanied by the urge to get revenge. Some act on this urge; some don´t. But it´s normal for someone who´s been cheated on to feel this way
If Christie´s out to get revenge, she won´t be the first betrayed wife to do so -– and she certainly won´t be the last.
Asa wife, Christie was no doubt privy to some of Peter Cook's deepest, darkest secrets. Now she´s in a unique position to get revenge by exposing his secrets to the world. Cook humiliated Christie by cheating on her with a teenager less than half his age, but she´s not allowed to humiliate him? At least Christie has found a legal way to get revenge. Some infidelity victims do violent, destructive, or illegal things to get back at a cheating mate.
Christie is Still Angry
Does it surprise anyone that Christie Brinkley is angry with Peter Cook? What wife wouldn´t feel angry and vindictive towards a husband who lured a teenager away from her job as a toy store clerk, hired her to be his office assistant, seduced her into having a long-term affair with him, then paid her $300,000 to keep quiet after the affair was exposed? Add to that an Internet porn habit exceeding $3000 a month.
Cook's attorney says he has a psychiatrist's report that 2 years later Christie is still "consumed by rage". Just like a smile and a handshake don´t always seal a deal, tears and apologies don´t erase the hurt, humiliation and heartbreak of being betrayed by someone you love.
Most marriage and family counselors agree that it takes at least 2 years for an infidelity victim to work through the emotions associated with infidelity, and fully recover from the trauma of the affair. This holds true whether the person remains with the cheater, or leaves and files for divorce. The longer the duration of the relationship, or the closer the bond between the couple, the longer the recovery time. For Christie to still be angry two years later is not that unusual. Talking openly about the situation -- whether in court, to a therapist, or with trusted friends -- will help dissipate any residual anger Christie may feel.
Infidelity Lessons to Be Learned
In his ruling to keep the trial open to the public, Supreme Court Justice Mark Cohen noted that "open courtrooms, in general and in divorce actions, may provide a basis for societal education. Obviously he there are lessons to be learned. Here´s my take on what those lessons might be
For Betrayed Wives:
Ignore public opinion. Have the good sense to get out of a bad marriage, if it´s in the best interests of you and your children to do so. Stand up for yourself and for your family.
For Cheating husbands:
When it comes to infidelity and extramarital affairs, remember "You have to pay to play." That payment isn´t always calculated in dollars and cents. Think about what you have to lose.
FREE Tip Sheet on Ways to Legally and Financially Get Revenge
If you absolutely must get revenge on your cheating mate, there are ways to do it without running afoul of the law. For a free tip sheet on How to Legally or Financially Get Revenge on a Cheating Spouse, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with "revenge tip sheet - ac" in the subject line.
About Ruth Houston:
Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, which lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs women usually overlook.
Frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news, Ruth has been quoted in USA Today, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Daily News, Cosmopolitan, the New York Post, the Chicago Tribune, the Houston Chronicle, the Toronto Sun, Maclean's, iVillage, MSN Lifestyle, FoxNews.com, ABCNews.com, msnbc.com, Reuters, AP, UPI, Hollywood Heat, Entertainment Online and numerous other print and online media.
Ruth has been a guest on The Today Show, CNN, Fox & Friends, Court TV Radio, The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, NBC News, BBC, CBC, WCBS, ABC News, Fox News, 1010WINS and over 440 other radio and TV talk shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, South America, Australia, New Zealand and the Caribbean.
To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston about infidelity, cheating spouses, and extramarital affairs call 718 592-6039 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com
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