Love in Turbulent Times—Can You Find It?
Wendy Lapidus-Saltz
December 19, 2008
A client rang me up the other day. "I´m at a total halt," she confessed, "Everything was going well, I was meeting guys, had a few good dates, I was beginning to know exactly what I want, and then—nothing!"
I asked her how this nothingness happened. Were there no more social events that promised romantic possibilities? No more private gatherings where girlfriends introduced each other to possibly great catches? No more flirtations to lift the ego and get juices flowing as in past months?
She had been involved in the Hypno-Attraction® Strategies for Love program, and doing marvelously. And then the, um, recession hit.
Was she too strapped financially to mix and mingle?
"Actually, I kinda removed myself from everything," she admitted, "It´s just constantly hearing bad news now. You gotta feel depressed."
You "gotta"? Really?
If you ask people who lived through the Great Depression, most will tell you it was a difficult time that demanded fortitude and sacrifice, but it made many people more creative, courageous, and closer to each other.
Love flourished.
Let´s not require a depression to get the benefits of a belt-tightening time. Our recession will do. If we allow it to turn our thoughts away from the kind of achievement that is determined by symbols: pricy cars, mansionettes, vacation homes we would rarely use.
Those who survived the Depression—and even prospered—learned to thrive with fewer physical diversions, and connect with people. The connections fed body and soul.
Yes, love of all kinds flourished: romantic, platonic, neighborly, sexual.
How can you use today´s situation to bolster your chances for love?
1-Make it a time of bonding with friends, family and new acquaintances. Not everything requires big money. Sit down with a pot of tea and some people you want to get to know better. People make a party, not things. Tea costs fifteen cents a bag.
The more friends you have, the more opportunities for caring. And the more chances to meet the friend-of-a-friend who might be your soulmate.
2-Rediscover the joys of simplicity. What physical objects do you really need for happiness? Few. And what need, you probably already have. It´s certain feelings you want. Money won´t buy them.
Immerse yourself in moments that spark positive feelings, and you attract others. With exposure, new friendships and romantic love both have a greater chance to grow. Without excess spending to comfort you, people will be your comfort and hope—and you will be theirs. Need, desire, and new interest could make this your most sociable time ever.
3-Share. If you are likely to hoard, hold back, or save your objects of delight…that coat you only wear for special occasions, that lovely cake you keep in the freezer, that phone card you´ll use someday to call Europe…use them now. Pool resources with others. You´ll get more than you gave.
4-Read more, think more, talk more. The library is free. Talk is free. Sharing and communicating with people you enjoy costs nothing and pays off in hundreds of ways. Don´t be cheap with companionship, caring, chatting, or loving. They pay out more than you put in. Far better than most of our recent investments!
5-Require less of the physical. If your happiness depends on an object, it is unreliable.
Things break, wear out, become uncool. What endures? Genuine spiritual endeavors, love, friendship and kindness. They last and grow more precious as years pass.
When you are among people you relate to, you radiate attractiveness to the world.
It will be noticed.
6-Get personal, stay close. Ever notice how mansions are built far apart from each other? In less wealthy areas, homes are close. Resources are shared. Bonding is necessary for survival and also good for the heart.
You can be well-situated financially and still believe in the value of closeness and connection. Intelligent wealthy people aim at being rich in spirit as well as material goods. One does not exclude the other.
Make sure you´re getting your daily share of connectedness, and spread it to others.
Grow love and watch it sprout up around you. ©2008 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz.
All rights reserved.
I asked her how this nothingness happened. Were there no more social events that promised romantic possibilities? No more private gatherings where girlfriends introduced each other to possibly great catches? No more flirtations to lift the ego and get juices flowing as in past months?
She had been involved in the Hypno-Attraction® Strategies for Love program, and doing marvelously. And then the, um, recession hit.
Was she too strapped financially to mix and mingle?
"Actually, I kinda removed myself from everything," she admitted, "It´s just constantly hearing bad news now. You gotta feel depressed."
You "gotta"? Really?
If you ask people who lived through the Great Depression, most will tell you it was a difficult time that demanded fortitude and sacrifice, but it made many people more creative, courageous, and closer to each other.
Love flourished.
Let´s not require a depression to get the benefits of a belt-tightening time. Our recession will do. If we allow it to turn our thoughts away from the kind of achievement that is determined by symbols: pricy cars, mansionettes, vacation homes we would rarely use.
Those who survived the Depression—and even prospered—learned to thrive with fewer physical diversions, and connect with people. The connections fed body and soul.
Yes, love of all kinds flourished: romantic, platonic, neighborly, sexual.
How can you use today´s situation to bolster your chances for love?
1-Make it a time of bonding with friends, family and new acquaintances. Not everything requires big money. Sit down with a pot of tea and some people you want to get to know better. People make a party, not things. Tea costs fifteen cents a bag.
The more friends you have, the more opportunities for caring. And the more chances to meet the friend-of-a-friend who might be your soulmate.
2-Rediscover the joys of simplicity. What physical objects do you really need for happiness? Few. And what need, you probably already have. It´s certain feelings you want. Money won´t buy them.
Immerse yourself in moments that spark positive feelings, and you attract others. With exposure, new friendships and romantic love both have a greater chance to grow. Without excess spending to comfort you, people will be your comfort and hope—and you will be theirs. Need, desire, and new interest could make this your most sociable time ever.
3-Share. If you are likely to hoard, hold back, or save your objects of delight…that coat you only wear for special occasions, that lovely cake you keep in the freezer, that phone card you´ll use someday to call Europe…use them now. Pool resources with others. You´ll get more than you gave.
4-Read more, think more, talk more. The library is free. Talk is free. Sharing and communicating with people you enjoy costs nothing and pays off in hundreds of ways. Don´t be cheap with companionship, caring, chatting, or loving. They pay out more than you put in. Far better than most of our recent investments!
5-Require less of the physical. If your happiness depends on an object, it is unreliable.
Things break, wear out, become uncool. What endures? Genuine spiritual endeavors, love, friendship and kindness. They last and grow more precious as years pass.
When you are among people you relate to, you radiate attractiveness to the world.
It will be noticed.
6-Get personal, stay close. Ever notice how mansions are built far apart from each other? In less wealthy areas, homes are close. Resources are shared. Bonding is necessary for survival and also good for the heart.
You can be well-situated financially and still believe in the value of closeness and connection. Intelligent wealthy people aim at being rich in spirit as well as material goods. One does not exclude the other.
Make sure you´re getting your daily share of connectedness, and spread it to others.
Grow love and watch it sprout up around you. ©2008 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz.
All rights reserved.
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