Zero Tolerance for Domestic Violence
Rizwan Ghani
March 06, 2009
Reports of beaten, bitten and choked Rihanna show that battle against domestic violence is far from over. It is a bad news because there are 1.3 million women in America alone who are victims of domestic violence. Rihanna´s case once again shows that domestic violence can occur in any social class (and all educational abilities).
The good news is that the Brown-Rihanna case is in the court and law has taken its own course. The tragedy has allowed another opportunity to help the victims make informed choices to bring an end the domestic violence.
It is opined that Rihanna should act as voice of victims instead of being a poster child for domestic violence. Those who are blaming both parties in this case need to review their position should alternately stand up for zero tolerance for the domestic violence as the only way forward.
Psychiatrists opine that batterers and abusers with passage of time get worse. For them control is an achievement. According to Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology report, domestic violence almost always escalates. It does not end with accident and emergency department. It is now being recognized that its consequences are commonly seen in obstetrics and gynaecology.
It has been reported that Brown on The Tyra Bank Show talked about his stepfather abusing his real mother. The experts say that human beings psychologically opt to be abusers than to be victims.
Psychotherapists discourage victims of violence from resorting to praying. It is recommended that victims of domestic violence must stand up to their abusers. They should seek help of their friends, family members, colleagues or concerned authorities for safe exit on first opportunity to escape.
Women victims of domestic violence must learn that ´love´ is not powerful enough to change abusers. They should therefore avoid transforming their abusers with power of their love. It could cost them their life.
Victims of domestic abuse should not run back to the abusers for comfort. Rihanna´s attorney´s failure to get restraining order against Brown supports reports that couple was considering reconciliation. The experts say that low confidence dependent type personality often become victims of domestic violence and keep turning to their abusers. They use different excuses to justify their actions. It includes blaming themselves as the triggers, financial and social constraints.
The parents and family members, colleagues and friends should educate the victims that no logic, religion and law condones domestic violence. They should be taught that if committing domestic violence is a crime so its toleration and not reporting it. Churches, schools, lawmakers and law enforcers can play an important role to end domestic violence.
Rihanna´s battering has once again proved the experts right. They recommend that victims of violence should immediately seek help for their personal safety and in most cases protection for their children. They should not allow the abuse to continue believing that abuser will change. The delay could mean irreversible damage to victim or loss of life. In case of children there can be serious consequences including lifelong psychological impressions. Like Chris Brown, these children could turn into tomorrow´s domestic abusers.
The experiences shared through media by Robin Givens, Tina Turner, Halle Berry show that staying with abusers does not help. Abusers are unable to overcome the urge to control their partner. The victims cannot micromanage things 24/7 to avoid ´trigger´ situations that set off the abusers. They must understand that it is impossible to lead a normal life with an abuser.
It is therefore important that ordinary domestic violence victims use Brown-Rihanna example to stand up to their abusers. A lot of support, material and on-line help is available for domestic violence victims. However, nothing can be achieved without victim deciding to stand up to her abuser. Rihanna´s tragedy once again shows that abusers do not change. Therefore, the community should stand up for zero tolerance for domestic violence to protect these victims before it is too late.
The good news is that the Brown-Rihanna case is in the court and law has taken its own course. The tragedy has allowed another opportunity to help the victims make informed choices to bring an end the domestic violence.
It is opined that Rihanna should act as voice of victims instead of being a poster child for domestic violence. Those who are blaming both parties in this case need to review their position should alternately stand up for zero tolerance for the domestic violence as the only way forward.
Psychiatrists opine that batterers and abusers with passage of time get worse. For them control is an achievement. According to Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology report, domestic violence almost always escalates. It does not end with accident and emergency department. It is now being recognized that its consequences are commonly seen in obstetrics and gynaecology.
It has been reported that Brown on The Tyra Bank Show talked about his stepfather abusing his real mother. The experts say that human beings psychologically opt to be abusers than to be victims.
Psychotherapists discourage victims of violence from resorting to praying. It is recommended that victims of domestic violence must stand up to their abusers. They should seek help of their friends, family members, colleagues or concerned authorities for safe exit on first opportunity to escape.
Women victims of domestic violence must learn that ´love´ is not powerful enough to change abusers. They should therefore avoid transforming their abusers with power of their love. It could cost them their life.
Victims of domestic abuse should not run back to the abusers for comfort. Rihanna´s attorney´s failure to get restraining order against Brown supports reports that couple was considering reconciliation. The experts say that low confidence dependent type personality often become victims of domestic violence and keep turning to their abusers. They use different excuses to justify their actions. It includes blaming themselves as the triggers, financial and social constraints.
The parents and family members, colleagues and friends should educate the victims that no logic, religion and law condones domestic violence. They should be taught that if committing domestic violence is a crime so its toleration and not reporting it. Churches, schools, lawmakers and law enforcers can play an important role to end domestic violence.
Rihanna´s battering has once again proved the experts right. They recommend that victims of violence should immediately seek help for their personal safety and in most cases protection for their children. They should not allow the abuse to continue believing that abuser will change. The delay could mean irreversible damage to victim or loss of life. In case of children there can be serious consequences including lifelong psychological impressions. Like Chris Brown, these children could turn into tomorrow´s domestic abusers.
The experiences shared through media by Robin Givens, Tina Turner, Halle Berry show that staying with abusers does not help. Abusers are unable to overcome the urge to control their partner. The victims cannot micromanage things 24/7 to avoid ´trigger´ situations that set off the abusers. They must understand that it is impossible to lead a normal life with an abuser.
It is therefore important that ordinary domestic violence victims use Brown-Rihanna example to stand up to their abusers. A lot of support, material and on-line help is available for domestic violence victims. However, nothing can be achieved without victim deciding to stand up to her abuser. Rihanna´s tragedy once again shows that abusers do not change. Therefore, the community should stand up for zero tolerance for domestic violence to protect these victims before it is too late.
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